Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
