i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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