i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
