Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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