I like my sex mixed with concussions.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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