this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
