Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
