did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
