I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
