Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
