So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
