Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
