so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
third nipple confirmed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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