we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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