i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
