At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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