On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
