She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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