Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
