it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
