One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
