i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
