Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
