That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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