I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
