How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
