Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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