That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
