Yo dont text me then not text me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
