I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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