so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
