There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
