so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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