it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
