I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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