I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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