I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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