He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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