is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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