also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
