I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
