hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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