He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
