I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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