Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
