dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
