moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
