So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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