We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
