I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
