my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
