So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
