I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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