i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
