You're so nebulous sometimes
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
