My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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