i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
