I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
