sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
