i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
