dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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