Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires