i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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